How do you accept a compliment?
I have struggled with this for years and even sometimes today, I find it difficult.
I would brush the compliment off completely and quickly move on to the next topic.
My face would turn red.
A sense of shame and embarrassment would fill up my body.
My eyes would begin to wonder, trying to grab onto the nearest object, so I no longer had to look at the person.
In recent years, I began to develop interest in wanting to change my relationship with how I accept compliments.
It all started with tackling the core feelings of shame and embarrassment.
I began to ask myself, “Why do I feel embarrassed when someone says a nice thing about me?”
I realized that part of the reason came from my environment and culture.
As early as I can remember, there were very few opportunities where space was created for me to acknowledge the things I was proud of myself.
I can’t remember a single time when I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “I’m proud of who you have become. I am proud of all of the times you chose to get back up when life knocked you down.”
I thought, “If I am not able to accept compliments from myself, how can I expect to accept compliments from others?”
Then, I started to challenge myself. I would sit uncomfortably, but still with intent, when someone would compliment me.
I would choose to look the person in the eyes.
Internally, I felt a sense of warmth.
Tears, sometimes, streamed down my face.
I was uncovering a version of myself that has always been there, but had been buried deep below the surface to survive my life.
Now, words wouldn’t do it justice in trying to describe how I feel when I receive a compliment.
All I can say is it makes me feel ALIVE.
