How do you challenge your own shortcomings?

“Are you safe?”

Ever since I landed in Ghana, this has been one of the most frequently asked questions from friends in the US.

Every time this question is asked, I can’t help but wonder, “What about Africa does the other person not find safe?”

Is it that I may be the only Caucasian within many, many miles?

Is it the fear of catching an unknown disease?

Is it because the poverty is much higher than a lot of other countries?

But even if the poverty level is higher, does that necessarily mean it’s unsafe?

Or is it something completely different?

This question was asked when I went to other European countries.

But, not in the same order.

It was asked well into the conversation.

Sometimes, not asked at all.

Once I got to Africa, this question has been asked at the beginning of most conversations.

I asked myself the same question, “What about Africa did I perceive as unsafe prior to arriving in Ghana?” and I discovered something.

I realized the perception I carried with me about people of color for many years.

Ever since I was a kid, I remember watching movies where those of color would be perceived as criminals and drug dealers.

This impacted my view greatly.

During my teenage years, there were times when I would cross the street once I saw a person of color sharing the same sidewalk.

There have been times when I’ve been scared to walk down dark alleyways, yet I wasn’t scared to do so if it was another white person there.

I am not here to blame anyone or anything.

I am simply acknowledging my shortcomings.

I have had to rewrite many of the stories I have written about people of color.

Even where I am today, I know I still have much work to do.

What is your perception of different races? What are the narratives you’ve created about those who are different from you?

What are the things you’re searching for?

“Our search is not for the thing, but the feeling that thing gives us.”

The other day, I caught up with an old friend of mine.

It has been years since we last saw each other, yet it felt as if no time had passed.

We shared one story after another.

The places we’ve been to.

The jobs we’ve had.

The people we’ve met.

Halfway through our conversation, he said something that still hasn’t escaped my mind.

“Our search is not for the thing, but the feeling that thing gives us.”

I looked at the burger in front of me.

Then, the iPhone.

Then, my clothes.

I thought, “He couldn’t be more right.”

I wasn’t searching for these items individually, rather the feeling those things could give me.

The feeling of not being hungry.

The feeling of being connected.

The feeling of being warm.

What are the things you’re searching for? What do you hope to feel when you find those things?

How are you making others feel valued and seen?

“Good morning, Boss!”

The other day, a friend of mine had said these words as he was talking to the Uber driver.

It wasn’t the first time I heard these words after my arrival to Ghana.

However, it was the first time these words peaked my interest.

I asked, “Why do people call others ‘boss’, especially when the person is not their boss?”

He responded, “It is meant to make others feel important or valued …”

Regardless of the role, whether it was the person checking our entry tickets at the Asenema Waterfalls, countless of Uber drivers or someone who is making your food, people call others “Boss, King, Director … the list goes on.”

All titles having one common denominator: to make others feel valued and seen.

How are you making others feel valued and seen?

What inspires you?

I asked, “What inspires you?”

I heard nothing, but silence.

Then, one after another people began to share their perspectives.

With each shared perspective, I noticed myself becoming more and more in-tune with what was being said.

I noticed myself quietly listening and completely understanding.

“Stillness inspires me ... connecting with others inspires me ... knowing that I’m not alone inspires me ...”

I couldn’t help, but smile with each shared perspective.

I felt a sense of joy.

I felt inspired by these people.

I felt inspired by our ability, as a collective, to breathe life into each other. 

I felt inspired by our ability to create a space of curiosity and exploration.

I felt inspired by our ability to understand and appreciate each other along this journey called life.

Inspiration can be found in so many places. 

I’m curious, “What inspires you?”

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

“How could this be?” I thought to myself as I was re-watching a clip from an old classic, Winnie the Pooh.

I hit “Rewind” once ... twice ... three times.

I’ve seen the film hundreds of times and yet the following still seemed as if I was hearing it for the first time: “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

As I thought about the scene over and over again, it made me think of the following, “People only hear what they want to hear.”

This case was not any different.

Christopher’s message to Pooh stood out to me because that’s what I wanted or needed to hear.

I needed to hear this message in order to remind myself of the importance to continue creating spaces for people to be understood and appreciated.

I needed to hear this message to remind myself that despite the current adversity many of us are facing around the world, there is still a light at the end of the tunnel.

My hope is that by sharing this, it’ll remind you that you have unique gifts within you and you have what it takes to get through any challenge that’s in front of you.

Just remember, “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”