What does “play” look like for you?
“When has play become immature?” a friend of mine asked on our, Courageous Conversations, last week.
I’ve thought about this before but never really took the time to fully process it and talk through it.
As I sat there, on my wooden chair, listening to others sharing their perspectives, I began to think of my own surroundings and reasons for why “play” has become distant in my life.
Phrases such as, "grow up" or "be an adult," came to mind immediately.
What does it mean to “grow up” or “be an adult”?
Over the years, I’ve learned that part of “growing up” means “giving up.”
“Why give up something I loved doing since I was a little kid?
Tag.
Four square.
Simon Says.
Through “playing”, I’ve learned how to identify problems, generate new ideas or possible solutions, create a plan, etc.
Therefore, play = creativity = better problem solving.
Why is “play” not accepted the same way as we age?
What does “play” look like for you?
How can you include more “play” into your life?
Oleg Lougheed is the host of the Overcoming Odds Podcast, where you get a glimpse into the stories of individuals who have overcome adversity, suffering, and struggle in achieving their personal success.
“The Pursuit of Happiness”
It was late at night.
I was laying on the couch watching, “The Pursuit of Happiness”, and there was a particular line that caught my attention.
The line was, “Maybe happiness is something that we can only purse and maybe we can actually never have it.”
I couldn’t help, but click the rewind button once ... twice ... three times, just so I could hear that particular line over and over again.
Hearing those words, “Maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it,” made me think, “How do I define happiness?”
It was difficult to think of one specific moment that defined that term, as I had experienced so many, and in so many different ways.
There was the time when I shared a laugh with a close friend and we giggled until our belly’s ached ... there was the time I felt connected to my tribe in the purest form…there was the time I had my very own bedroom with a bed in it, there was the time when I was swimming in the ice cold lake with not a care in the world…there are countless times that I have experienced happiness.
All of these happy moments have made me realize that I can experience happiness at any given moment if I choose to look at it that way.
I don’t have to wait.
I can choose to be happy along my journey at any time, regardless of the circumstances.
No set of events can take that choice away from me, not even during the most challenging times.
Do you believe you can choose to be happy?
If you enjoyed this, please share your thoughts by commenting below or joining us on one of our weekly, “Courageous Conversations” virtual meetup gatherings.
Oleg Lougheed is the host of the Overcoming Odds Podcast, where you get a glimpse into the stories of individuals who have overcome adversity, suffering, and struggle in achieving their personal success.
Learning To Unlearn
45 minutes that’s all that was left before our weekly, “Courageous Conversations” virtual meetup.
“I should sweep the floors,” I thought to myself.
I made my way from my bedroom to the corner closet, located to the right of the bathroom in my apartment, to grab the broom.
“Where should I start?”
As I made my way to my bedroom again, I thought, “What if you ease the pressure of how you sweep? What would happen?”
For 20 years, or as long as I have been in the sweeping business, I used to think that the more pressure I had put on the broom, the more dirt it would pick up.
As I wrapped my hands around the plastic handle of the broom and slowly swung it back and forth without a lot of pressure, I noticed how much more effective that technique was compared to how I had been sweeping.
A smile appeared on my face. A smile of simple joy.
The same exact one when I was a child, having learned to smell a rose for the first time.
As I continued sweeping, from one room to the other, I thought, “learn to unlearn”
Yes, this new technique may have taken me longer, but it brought me significantly more joy in the process.
It made me realize the importance of unlearning an old habit, so I can learn a new one.
It was the first time that I experienced joy in sweeping!
“There is beauty within everything if I choose to see it.”
As I finished sweeping, I wasn’t sure what to do with myself.
I was super excited about this new discovery, albeit it was just sweeping.
I walked around my apartment wanting to share this new sweeping joy I had just experienced.
I heard the inner child within me, “Mom, guess what I learned today?”
It was while walking around my apartment that I realized, “I don’t have to do anything with this new knowledge of mine. What if I just sit with it and let it flow through me?”
So, I sat down on my bed, and began to record this moment on my iPhone.
A memory that I’ll have for a long time.
A memory of what it felt like to learn to unlearn.
Do you remember a time when you learned something new or unlearned an old habit of yours? What did it feel like?
If you enjoyed this, please share your thoughts by commenting below or joining us on one of our weekly, “Courageous Conversations” virtual meetup gatherings.
Oleg Lougheed is the host of the Overcoming Odds Podcast, where you get a glimpse into the stories of individuals who have overcome adversity, suffering, and struggle in achieving their personal success.
“There is no such thing as a stupid question.”
She said, “There is no such thing as a stupid question.”
I will never forget those words.
For months prior to her saying those words, I would sit in the corner of the room, trying to make myself invisible.
Every Monday and Wednesday morning, I used to enter her 9th grade English class, thinking, “Please don’t pick me, please don’t pick me."
I would pray over and over again that I was not the next one she called on.
The class started at 7:50am. I would do my best to be there by 7:45am to reserve my seat, the corner desk right by the window.
I chose the seat that was the furthest from the teacher, so that it would increase my chances of not being seen or called upon.
I remember the routine vividly.
I’d walk in.
Walk super-fast toward the desk, lightly nudging some of the students that stood in my way.
Pull out the book we were reading and place it standing on top of the desk.
I purposely placed the book standing up on the top of the desk, so I could hide my face behind it, as the rest of my body slid down the plastic chair beneath the wooden desk.
The rest of the time, I concentrated on the big, round clock, hanging above the chalkboard, waiting for it to strike 9:15am.
As I said before, I followed this routine for months, until one day, Judith DeWoskin, my 9th grade English teacher, chose to address the whole classroom with the following, “There is no such thing as a stupid question.”
I felt an elephant had been lifted off my chest after I heard those words.
Her words gave me permission to ask questions and not feel less than.
I didn’t have the courage to immediately.
It took me years to develop the courage to ask questions, seek answers.
But, what was important during those years was her message, “There is no such thing as a stupid question.”
As I sit here today, reflecting back on that moment in my 9th grade classroom, close to nine years ago, I can’t help, but think of the impact her words had on me.
I don’t know if she knew the impact those word would have on students at the time, but she does now.
At least the impact that it had on me. Because I told her.
“There is no such thing as a stupid question.”
Those words made me realize the importance of asking questions.
We are all on our own individual paths to acquire knowledge.
I encourage you to ask questions, seek answers.
In my opinion, it doesn’t matter whether those surrounding you want to know the same things you do, what matters most is, “What do YOU want to know?”
“There is no such thing as a stupid question.”
If you enjoyed this, please share your thoughts by commenting below or joining us on one of our weekly, “Courageous Conversations” virtual meetup gatherings.
Oleg Lougheed is the host of the Overcoming Odds Podcast, where you get a glimpse into the stories of individuals who have overcome adversity, suffering, and struggle in achieving their personal success.
Everyone We Meet Knows Something We Don’t
It was late at night, I was scrolling through my LinkedIn feed, as Kelly Merbler’s post caught my eye.
1 minute ... 5 minutes ... 10 minutes later, I was still sitting there, eyes glued to my computer screen, reading her post over and over again.
In particular, re-reading one of the last sentences, “Everyone we meet knows something we don’t.”
I thought, “This is so true! We all have value to add to each other regardless of our circumstances.”
I then immediately thought of a time I shared with a homeless man on my trip to San Diego last year.
“Every little bit helps.” a sign a man was holding in the middle of the street.
As I passed him, I thought to myself, “How many people actually stop and talk to him?”
Sure, he may not be “properly” dressed, ripped jeans and in need of a warm shower.
I thought, “Regardless of his appearance, he’s still a human being.”
Instead of going to my initial destination prior to my interview with NBC, I chose to stop by the closest restaurant to buy (2) sandwiches.
As I walked out of the restaurant, I saw that the homeless man was no longer standing in the same place.
He was making his way up the street.
“Sir, sir,” I screamed across the street.
As I caught up to him, I asked, “Would you like to share a meal with me?”
“Yes,” he responded.
We sat together, on the curb, cars passing on both sides of us, sharing memories from our past and a laugh or two.
I realized something in that short time we spent together on the curb.
Perception is everything.
I chose to look at him as another human, wanting to be seen, to be heard and to be supported.
I did not have any preconceived expectations about him. I simply chose to SEE him.
I created a space where he could experience being seen, heard and supported. I believe most of us want this in life.
I asked him, “How many people stop and talk to you?”
His response, “none.”
Tears fell from my eyes, as in that word “none” I knew that people’s perceptions had won their view.
What this moment and so many others made me realize is the importance of creating a place for others to be accepted, seen and valued.
We’re all at different phases of our lives and in our growth.
None of us are better than the other.
As Kelly initially wrote, “Everyone we meet knows something we don’t.”
Let us all be open to learning from others, to accept others and to create spaces for others to be understood.
If you enjoyed this, please share your thoughts by commenting below or joining us on one of our weekly, “Courageous Conversations” virtual meetup gatherings.
Oleg Lougheed is the host of the Overcoming Odds Podcast, where you get a glimpse into the stories of individuals who have overcome adversity, suffering, and struggle in achieving their personal success.
I Forgive You ...
Today was the day when I chose to forgive her ...
Dear Mom,
I forgive you for all of the times you weren’t there for me,
I forgive you for all of the times you chose alcohol instead of caring for me,
I forgive you for the times you told me, “Son, I’ll change tomorrow,” and tomorrow never came,
I forgive you for everything, because I never want you to live a life of shame.
It took me years before I could come to this point of view,
Now I can look at you as someone who did her very best with what she knew,
I’d like to think that my sister and I were always on your mind,
My love for you is limitless, and I am willing to put everything behind.
Your birthday is four days from mine,
A day I typically spend crying and telling everyone “I’m fine,”
I spend your birthday, looking through many pictures, but can only find one of you,
It is the day you came to visit me at the orphanage, sober, that’s how I will always remember you.
You left this planet far too young,
I will always remember you as kind and strong,
You taught me lessons, unspoken, that I choose to live by every single day,
I miss you dearly Mom, just know that I will be okay ❤️
Is there someone in your life that you’d like to forgive?
If you enjoyed this, please share your thoughts by commenting below or joining us on one of our weekly, “Courageous Conversations” virtual meetup gatherings.
Be A Contribution
“How many people have you served?”
The question that most of us working in mission driven organizations get asked over and over again.
I will never forget the day when I was asked this question.
It was the first week after starting, Overcoming Odds.
Very few things were developed during that time frame, yet I was already being asked what appeared to be the ultimate question regarding our work.
The question, as I learned over time, that determines whether or not you receive funding from individuals or supporting organizations.
I said, “We just started.”
The air surrounding me felt heavier, as I concluded my sentence.
I noticed his facial expression change from a place of curiosity to what appeared to be, “this is a waste of my time.”
Otherwise, known as disappointment.
I didn’t know how to proceed, as I simply couldn’t shake off the newly developed thoughts running through my head.
As I tried to explain the vision of our work in detail, he lifted his right arm, gazed at his shinny, silver, expensive watch and said, “I’m sorry, I’m late for my next meeting. Can we continue this conversation at a later date?”
“Sure,” I responded.
As we shook hands, I walked straight to my car, tears streaming down my face, thinking, “Why is this the question that determines whether or not your work is worthwhile?”
Little did I know that this question would appear at every networking event ... grant application ... sponsorship proposal .... or any other opportunity when you’re given a chance to discuss your work.
It was hard not to take it personally when asked, “How many people have you served?” especially if being asked in front of other people and having the chance to hear their answers.
“500.”
“10,000.”
“150,000.”
Numbers that were 10X or 100X compared to the number of people we were serving at the time.
In all honesty, I struggled with this for many years.
It impacted how I viewed myself.
Questions and statements such as, “Am I doing enough?, “I need to work more,” used to fill my head.
There were days when I wanted to quit what I believe to be my life’s work.
There were days when I cried myself to sleep, as I didn’t think I was making enough of a difference.
All due to wanting to meet someone’s standard of what it meant to have an impact in this world.
It wasn’t until I met Kahila Hedayatzadeh, Nicole Ash, Stacy Johnson, Brian Kelly, Mark Courtney, Elorm Ahiamadjie, Steve Boerner, and read books, including, “The Art of Possibility” that my perspective changed.
I began to think of my impact in this world, as a contribution and not a measurement of good.
I started to ask myself, “How will I be a contribution in the life of others?” instead of, “How many people can I impact today?”
This changed in mindset but it didn’t happen over night.
It took months of practice to instill this new way of thinking.
We’re all walking unique paths in life.
No one shoe fits all.
Nobody gets to determine whether or not I am being a contribution in this world.
I get to decide that for myself.
I want to hear from you, “How will you be a contribution to someone’s life today?”
If you enjoyed this, please share your thoughts by commenting below or joining us on one of our weekly, “Courageous Conversations” virtual meetup gatherings.