Dream BIG. START small.

Dream BIG.

START small.

Six years ago, I had a dream.

I was standing in the middle of a stage.

Thousands took their seats before me.

I remember seeing my mouth open, close, open, close.

Yet, I couldn’t articulate a single word.

Moments later, I went into a spiral.

The dream had ended.

I woke up puzzled about what I had just experienced.

How could I dream of doing something I fear greatly?

I shared my dream with a friend.

She said, “Give it a try.”

Not the type of response I was expecting.

Yet, somehow, someway, weeks later, I found my back to that dream.

This time, I chose to act on what my friend had suggested.

I didn’t know anything about this profession.

I didn’t know the places that hired.

I didn’t know who would be interested in listening to me.

Despite of all of the things I didn’t know, what I did know is that I didn’t need to know the “how,” I just need to know where to start.

I reached out to places I knew best.

The middle school, high school, the college I attended.

The adoption agency that helped get to the states.

The networking groups I was a part of.

Most if not all, took a chance.

They brought me in.

Over the past six years, I expanded to other groups.

I tailored my message to help college students become more equipped in handling adverse circumstances.

I tailored my message to help companies improve their employee performance, engagement and retention.

I tailored my message to help those who were unemployed find future employment.

I tailored my message to help individuals rewrite the story of their past.

Dream BIG.

START small.

Change Your Approach. Change Your Life.

Motivation comes and goes.

Habits remain.

For years, I relied on motivation to get my day started.

I remember the times I’d write down my goals the night before.

Then, go to bed, feeling excited about the next day.

The following morning, I’d wake up and the motivation from the night before would disappear.

I didn’t understand how such was possible.

How could I go to bed motivated to accomplish every goal I’ve set, only to wake up not motivated to take on a single one?

Over time, I’ve realized that it was not possible to wake up motivated every single day.

It is a feeling that I cannot control.

Some days, I wake up motivated.

Other days, I don’t.

I needed a new approach to take on the day.

This is when I came across a handful of books, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” “Tiny Habits,” “Atomic Habits” that introduced me to the importance of building habits.

The consensus was that habits remain, motivation comes and goes.

This realization changed the way I approached my day.

It shifted my focus.

I began to focus on what I can control.

What I can control is the effort I put toward the consistent, daily behaviors or practices.

What I cannot control is how I feel every morning I get out of bed.

Change your approach.

Change your life.

Is breakfast the most important meal of the day?

Is #breakfast truly THE MOST important meal of the day?

Should you eat it or skip it?

I used to skip it.

I used to get out of bed and dive straight into work.

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that breakfast may not be THE MOST important meal, but it is an important one.

I’ve come to realize that it is so much more than a meal.

It’s an opportunity.

An opportunity to set an #intention for the day.

An opportunity to #reflect on the past events and learn from them.

An opportunity to #thank the people who have helped me see another day.

This Thursday, 9 AM EST on #FacebookLive & #linkedinlive I will be sharing this important time with a great friend of mine, Lena Stoots!

[Thank you Scott Mason for introducing the two of us].

Knowing the two of us, our time together will be packed with laughter, deep insights about life, more laughter, reflection on the people we’ve become, more laughter, and ways to rewrite our personal stories.

Grab your coffee ☕️ or your juice 🧃

Join us, then put all the #insights to good use!!!

How to Create Your To-Do List

To-do list!

I was 24 years old when first introduced to the concept.

I remember asking a friend of mine, “How do you create your to-do list? What do you do with the tasks that you don’t complete in the given day?”

He said, “Each day I create my to-do list. The rule is that it must not exceed a single page. Whatever doesn’t get finished, I carry over onto the next day’s to-do list. This way I start from scratch everyday.”

I was blown away by what I heard, especially the point about starting from scratch everyday.

Not beating myself up over the tasks I didn’t complete.

Rather, accepting them as tasks to work toward the next day.

Since that conversation, I’ve gone through hundreds of iterations of my to-do list.

I’ve created month long excel sheets with all of the tasks outlined on a single page. Days into such method, I abandoned it. I became overwhelmed when I saw all of the items printed on a 24 x 36 piece of paper.

I’ve covered my wall with sticky notes. Each sticky note had one task on it. This method gave me the opportunity to focus on a single task at a time. It eliminated multitasking. However, made me more anxious every time I looked at the wall and saw 50 different sticky notes.

I’ve listened to podcasts on to-do lists. The consensus was to focus on three tasks per day.

Today, my to-do list is a single sticky note with five items on it.

Through trial and error, I have found a method that works for me.

Do what works for you.

Whatever doesn’t get finished, carries over onto the next day’s to-do list.

As a friend of mine, Shauna (Sikorski) Griffiths, once told me, “Your to-do list will always be there tomorrow.”

Rewrite Your Story

Are you reliving the story of your past? The story of being the victim of your circumstances?

I was until a few days ago.

The other day, I asked a handful of people to give me feedback regarding the description of a program I was putting together to help others rewrite their story.

Twenty iterations later, I still couldn’t come up with a description that felt “right”.

I went back to what I knew.

I went back to the story that got me here.

The story of my abusive childhood.

The story of living at the Russian orphanage.

The story of my alcoholic mother.

As I wrote the last words, I felt a shift.

I was taken back to a memory from five years ago.

The time when I was sitting around the dinner table, writing the story that later became the backbone for Overcoming Odds.

The other day, I shared that same story with a handful of people.

Their feedback changed the way I saw myself.

Many shared how my story left them thinking that I still identified with what happened to me.

It was hard to accept their remarks.

Part of me wanted to fight back.

Then, I realized the reason why I identified so strongly with their feedback.

Their remarks threatened my identity.

Thousands of personal development hours later, I realized there’s still work to be done.

There is no endpoint to growth.

I realized that the story that got me here, may not be the story that gets me to the next point.

The story that I still identify with on some level.

The story of my victimhood.

1. The retelling of my past hardships and identifying with them. Simultaneously, reliving some of the past trauma on a deeper level. Changing this part of my story and identity required a deeper understanding that I am not what happened to me. I am not my thoughts, I am their observer.

2. Using the story of my past to identify with others. The shared pain and trauma. In doing this, I realized the disservice I was doing to my growth, as well as the growth of others. You never know who's watching. You never know how your story may impact somebody else’s story.

A friend of mine once said, “We teach others what we need to learn ourselves.”

As I begin this new journey of helping others rewrite their story, I will be starting a journey of my own.

The rewriting of my story and how I identify with it.

Asking myself the tough questions, “Am I content with the story I am creating? If not, why not? What is holding me back?”

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

I am eager to take this first step of the unknown.

Are you ready to take the first step in rewriting your story?

Don’t Force It

Don’t force it.

I was in middle school when I first heard these words.

One shot after another, the basketball coach repeated, “Don’t force it.”

His words went in one ear and out the other.

It wasn’t until years later that I understood what those words truly meant.

It wasn’t until I saw a friend of mine take a highly contested shot from the right corner of the basketball court with very probability of making it.

It wasn’t until another friend of mine screamed, “Don’t force it.”

It wasn’t until I ran the play over and over again in my head to understand how this applied to my game that I began to notice a pattern.

The highly contested shots I took.

The shots that were completely out of my range.

The shots that should have instead been passes to fellow teammates.

This morning, I was reminded of this beautiful game once again and the life lessons it has taught me.

I was reminded that the game is played both on and off the court.

The lessons learned on the court can be applied directly to others areas of my life off the court.

The times when I forced shots while the better play might have been to pass the task to one of my coworkers.

The times when I forced shots while the better play might might have been to wait and let the play develop.

The times when I forced shots while the better play might have been to gain more experience.

Choose your shot wisely.

Take Care of Yourself Before Walking Out The Door

Take care of yourself before you walk out the door.

These were her last words as we parted ways.

I have not seen her since.

I have tried to.

I have intentionally tried to walk Kaleb around the same time every morning.

I was hoping to run into her again.

I was hoping to ask her questions.

No luck.

Someone once told me, “People come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime.”

My encounter with her was one of those.

45-minute walk around the neighborhood with a complete stranger.

45-minute walk around the neighborhood that left a profound impact.

45-minute walk around the neighborhood that added a tool to my toolkit.

The importance of taking care of my mental, physical and spiritual self before walking out the door.

From one stranger to another, “Take care of yourself before you walk out the door.”

Focus on the Present Moment

Don't forget to stop and smell the roses.

I’ve been reminded of this many times.

This morning was no exception.

I sensed it as I made my way out of the door.

My mind was occupied with what I had to do next.

Meetings.

Speaking engagements.

Podcast interviews.

Respond to emails.

I was completely missing what was in front of me.

The present moment.

I was consumed by thoughts of the future.

Events that may or may not occur.

Yesterday, I caught up with an old friend of mine.

He reminded me, “You never know when your last day on earth will be.”

As I made my way through the neighborhood, I was reminded of his words.

I was reminded to slow down and smell the roses.

Life is a series of moments.

Don’t lose sight of the present moment.

The next one is not guaranteed.