Many people may have important stories to share and things they have been keeping inside.
At 8 years old, for anywhere from 4 to 5 hours, I testified against my paternal grandpa, who had been charged with child sexual abuse and rape. It was December 1985. The courtroom was packed with my paternal relatives. They had all sided with my grandpa. The only person who believed me, my only ally, was my mom.
After watching a child sexual abuse awareness video in my second grade classroom, it clicked. What was happening wasn't right. When I told my mom a year earlier about what was happening, she believed me. After I told her,she leapt into action and called the police. I was interviewed by detectives, attorneys and other court personnel. I was thrown into both individual and group therapy. There was enough evidence to go to trial but my grandpa's high powered legal team, along with assistance from my dad, who was an assistant district attorney in the county where he was charged, helped him win.
In the process of healing from such experiences, challenges will arise. Overcoming these hardships are difficult; finding ways to overcome them can be the reason we move forward.
At an early age, I was in therapy, which I believe has helped me with everything in life. I've been left with PTSD, anxiety, and mild psoriasis. Rather than sit around and let the abuse overcome me, I leapt into action, just like my mom, and have lived my life trying to overcome these challenges.
I went to a small women's college in upstate NY, and after graduation, I pulled myself up, having struggled with an eating disorder and alcoholism. I went on to start a chapter of a women's mentoring organization in Portland, Oregon. I helped grow the chapter to be the second largest in the U.S. and shortly afterwards, started doing consulting work. Through this consulting opportunity, I assisted people with disabilities to find jobs.
My anxiety has played a huge part in overcoming challenges-- both good and bad. I've been in the consulting business for over 15 years and several years ago I purchased my first single family rental property. Many survivors struggle with just getting through daily life. My experience has propelled me forward.
One word to describe me would be determined. I like a challenge and as indicated above, I don't take no for an answer. It's important to dream big and work hard.
My mom is the most influential person in my life by far. She believed me from the get go. Her determination, and not taking no for an answer, helped me see that I can dream big. I don't see no; I see opportunities. She has also taught me that doing the footwork and focusing on that rather than the results is the most important thing in life.
Challenges we face, and experiences we have, can be learning opportunities. We get to know more about ourselves than we had ever thought before.
I have learned that I can dream big, write down goals and accomplish anything. In 2003, after I graduated from college, I was struggling with what I wanted to do with my life. I wrote down two goals I wanted to achieve that at the time felt like big goals : a). Become a small business owner b). Own my own house.
17 years later I accomplished those goals and continue to write down even bigger goals, related to property management, savings and retirement.
I've also learned that I was thrust into something unusual at such an early age. I don't know of any other children who have had to testify in the same room as their accuser at such a young age. That experience has allowed me to realize that I am different from my peers and that sets me apart in life, and in goal setting.
I decided not to have children. Instead, I focus on getting better and on my career. Sometimes I feel like an oddball because my peers have children. Yet, that has not been my path. My experience has allowed me to see that being different than others who may have taken a more traditional path in life is ok.
