At one time or a million, I think everyone struggles with the notion of identity. I know I have struggled with it most of my life, and my recurring struggle has been measuring my sense of self-worth and my identity from the outside, how I look, and what my body can do. I think all of us have the desire to live inside out, to define ourselves by who we really are and not by the external, especially when those external things are involuntarily or voluntarily stripped away.
I’ve suffered through growing up in a rage-filled dysfunctional home, being molested, promiscuity, an eating disorder, the collapse of my lumbar vertebrae, and basically having a skewed moral compass. The most important transformation of my life began when I felt like I lost everything, and I began to write. At first, I wrote about pain, but then I began to see the humor and extraordinary of the ordinary, as well as the lessons in just living every day. Cultivating and continuing the practice of mindfulness continues to be transformational, and this practice along with sharing stories has kept me on a path of healing.
At a time in my life when I could barely leave the house without completely breaking down, my friend, Deana, was there for me. She has shown me the most incredible, selfless love and compassion. She also asked me to challenge my beliefs. I can always connect with her when I picture her in my mind and see the love in her eyes.
Most of our suffering is created by believing that our own thoughts are the truth. I have learned that life is somewhat of a striptease, the more we are willing to strip away the thoughts that never served us, the more freedom we have to live from the inside out inviting us to learn and embrace we are just who we are, to practice self-love and self-compassion and to open up our hearts and compassion for others.
