No Better Family

I was born in Guangdong, province of China.

I don't know any of the circumstances regarding my birth, only that I was found and brought to an orphanage at a young age.

I stayed there for ten months with the rest of my Chinese “sisters” until I was adopted on April 15th, 2001. My family and I celebrate it every year as my "Gotcha Day."

At the time of my adoption, I knew nothing about my adoptive family. But, I could not have asked for a better family. My adoptive family has helped me reach my full potential and I can't thank them enough for that.

I am fortunate for being able to create a strong bond with them. They always were and always will be my parents. Not my “adoptive parents”, just my parents. Over the years, we’ve had some challenging moments, but they have always met me with unrelenting love and support—even when I was an unruly young teenager.

I don’t identify myself as an American nor Chinese. Though my parents helped me grow and embrace my Chinese roots by taking me to events that were for Chinese adoptees.

However, some of those events made me feel out of place.

It didn’t help that I had to deal with racism over the years, whether it was from someone who meant it as a vicious attack or a joke.

To this day, I still feel traces of not belonging, but I am getting better about feeling more at home in my mixed Chinese American identity.

I know nothing about my birth parents.

I am constantly asked the question, "Do you want to meet your birth parents?"

It frustrates me when I hear it, even though I have been asked numerous times, but my answer will always be the same.

I have no bad feelings toward them for giving me up, as I know that it was due to the one-child policy under which I was born.

I don't believe I will be actively searching for them.

After looking at the circumstances surrounding my birth, I realize how fortunate I have been to be adopted. Had I not been adopted, I would have lived a life of poverty, farming, and little education with limited room for horizontal or vertical mobility.

I want to let other adoptees know that they are not alone. There are others who share similar stories or struggles.

Know that you always have someone out there to talk to.