Finding hope, resilience and courage

My story is important because it is a story of hope, resilience, courage and a drive to pull myself out of a childhood of poverty, welfare, abuse, foster care system to rise to graduating from college and then earning my Juris Doctor from the University of Notre Dame Law School. I have so many stories within my story that I believe will inspire, encourage and bring hope to those who may feel hopeless and despair.

People face different challenges throughout their lives, many of which are difficult to overcome. Sometimes, these challenges can overlap due to a variety of experiences. Learning how to overcome them, then, is a process. Sharing our stories can be an outlet through which we can release our truth, and a way for others to learn from our experiences find their own truth.

The main challenge of mine has been a sense of shame, embarrassment and humiliation. I've always tried to conceal my  identity, which includes my childhood and my Latinidad. However, as I approach 50 years of age, the more I realize how important it is to step into my truth, reclaim my identity and self-worth. I now desire to share it with others so that they may find healing and hope. My spiritual life and resourcefulness to solicit the support and mentorship of others has been a key to overcoming many obstacles and achieving success.

Personally, I would consider myself courageous.

The definition of courage is: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. From living in a camper on a truck, to foster care homes, to being the first to graduate from high school, to stepping on a college campus, to taking the Bar Exam to practicing law and so much more in my life - I have had to be courageous. I have done so much while scared, but have had to persevere in order to succeed. I still do many things, scared, but I don't allow the fear to prevent me from acting.

We may look to certain people for influence in our endeavors, to find a sense of support in our deepest challenges.

My personal relationship with God has been the most important relationship I have ever had.  He is the one who has carried me through every storm and brought the right people and the right time.

In the process of experiencing challenge and difficulty, we learn a lot about ourselves.  I have learned that my life journey, with all of its ups and downs, good and bad, failures and successes have been an important part of my developing deep empathy, compassion and love for my fellow man. I have an insatiable hunger to use my story for the blessing of others.  If a little ghetto girl like me could survive all the trauma, so can others.

Taking Life Back From Your Demons

My whole life has been a recurring cycle of fighting internal demons such as self-doubt, self-consciousness, and perfection that held me back from ever feeling my value or my talents. Growing up a performer, I was constantly analyzing and overly critical of my every movement. Rejection has been a constant, and although I’ve been blessed with a supportive family and close friends, constantly trying to fit in or be the chosen “star” among the crowd or inside the audition room can put pressure on my personal view to be anything less than perfect.

On top of the circumstances I chose to participate in, what I did not choose was never understanding “what was wrong with me” or “why am I so sensitive” until after graduating college, I found myself unable to get out of bed, having emotional breakdowns, and being consumed by panic attacks triggered by almost anything. It was at this time that I began traditional therapy and set my journey to understanding my mental health. At a time of transition, I recognized that my life lacked structure. This is one of the first things I worked on to simply get me out of bed in the morning. It was the first moment I feel I took back my life from my mental difficulties and began to live intentionally.

Both of my parents as well as my sisters, my partner of 10 years, and close friends have been so supportive of my journey and decisions – both poor and positive – and have never given up on where I choose to turn next. My mother, however, is the most resilient, generous, and loving person. I can remember as a young child her saying “Where there is a will, there’s a way,” and I have carried that with me through my life. She taught me how to be kind and offered me the independence to grow and evolve — something she is still an example of for me through her ongoing efforts to reach new goals in her own life.

I’ve developed a deeper understanding of me, my values, my boundaries, my passions, my standards, my beliefs, and my identity. The deeper a relationship I build and understand within myself, the more I am capable of accomplishing within this world to help others and make an impact in improving lives around me.

After many experiences of depression and anxiety hitting hard, my mission is strong in opening up the dialogue for those who also experience mental health struggles to end shame and encourage safe resources and healthy action. I find increasing joy and inexplainable energy when I am able to speak with others, lift them up, and help them to see the goodness within themselves and their circumstances. I love to see people succeed and recognize how much they have to offer. We all deserve to make the most and get exactly what we want, and more than we may have expected, out of this one life, so I love to be there to encourage people along their way.