My whole life has been a recurring cycle of fighting internal demons such as self-doubt, self-consciousness, and perfection that held me back from ever feeling my value or my talents. Growing up a performer, I was constantly analyzing and overly critical of my every movement. Rejection has been a constant, and although I’ve been blessed with a supportive family and close friends, constantly trying to fit in or be the chosen “star” among the crowd or inside the audition room can put pressure on my personal view to be anything less than perfect.
On top of the circumstances I chose to participate in, what I did not choose was never understanding “what was wrong with me” or “why am I so sensitive” until after graduating college, I found myself unable to get out of bed, having emotional breakdowns, and being consumed by panic attacks triggered by almost anything. It was at this time that I began traditional therapy and set my journey to understanding my mental health. At a time of transition, I recognized that my life lacked structure. This is one of the first things I worked on to simply get me out of bed in the morning. It was the first moment I feel I took back my life from my mental difficulties and began to live intentionally.
Both of my parents as well as my sisters, my partner of 10 years, and close friends have been so supportive of my journey and decisions – both poor and positive – and have never given up on where I choose to turn next. My mother, however, is the most resilient, generous, and loving person. I can remember as a young child her saying “Where there is a will, there’s a way,” and I have carried that with me through my life. She taught me how to be kind and offered me the independence to grow and evolve — something she is still an example of for me through her ongoing efforts to reach new goals in her own life.
I’ve developed a deeper understanding of me, my values, my boundaries, my passions, my standards, my beliefs, and my identity. The deeper a relationship I build and understand within myself, the more I am capable of accomplishing within this world to help others and make an impact in improving lives around me.
After many experiences of depression and anxiety hitting hard, my mission is strong in opening up the dialogue for those who also experience mental health struggles to end shame and encourage safe resources and healthy action. I find increasing joy and inexplainable energy when I am able to speak with others, lift them up, and help them to see the goodness within themselves and their circumstances. I love to see people succeed and recognize how much they have to offer. We all deserve to make the most and get exactly what we want, and more than we may have expected, out of this one life, so I love to be there to encourage people along their way.
