“Out of your greatest pain can come your greatest gift.”
I realized this while sitting on my bed, with the bedroom light dimmed, talking on the phone to a close friend, reflecting back on my past.
She said to me, “I know you had a very challenging childhood…that you were an orphan … that you lived in poverty … that you had no parental figures … but, what was your greatest pain?”
“I …”
A moment of silence followed, as I didn’t know how to respond.
I’ve never been asked this question before.
I started to think about all of the painful moments in my life.
The times I tried as a young boy to bring my birth family back together, all under one roof. The time I searched the streets of Chebarkul, looking for my birth Mom, wanting to just hug her and not let go…the time I was starving and had to find a way to eat…so many painful times.
The thoughts ran through and through my mind, racing, one after another.
Then, a specific memory came to mind.
I continued sharing with my friend the time I spent in a three-bedroom apartment in Newark, DE, alone, in a room, sitting on the floor, with tears streaming down my face. I recall repeatedly asking myself, “Why me? Why was I meant to go through all of this? Why should I have to endure all of this? Why did I have to lose such an important person to me… my birth Mom?”
As I began to think about it more and more, I could feel a heavy weight being lifted.
Not a day goes by without me thinking about my birth Mom.
I wish I could see her; hug her; kiss her … just one more time.
Even now, tears fall from my eyes onto the computer keys, as I think about her.
But, I also understand that I have a choice in how I view my past.
I understand that each of the experiences I’ve had on this planet can be gifts if I choose to look at them through a different lens.
In fact, this is exactly how I have been able to find my greatest gift, realizing that my past experiences have given me the gift to reach people in a special way, helping them to see their past as a gift too. I have created a community where people can share their stories, feel connected and understand that they belong. In this community people realize that their story matters.
What is your greatest pain? Have you been able to change the lens through which you see it?
You too can turn your pain into your special gift!
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