narrative therapy

What inspires you?

I asked, “What inspires you?”

I heard nothing, but silence.

Then, one after another people began to share their perspectives.

With each shared perspective, I noticed myself becoming more and more in-tune with what was being said.

I noticed myself quietly listening and completely understanding.

“Stillness inspires me ... connecting with others inspires me ... knowing that I’m not alone inspires me ...”

I couldn’t help, but smile with each shared perspective.

I felt a sense of joy.

I felt inspired by these people.

I felt inspired by our ability, as a collective, to breathe life into each other. 

I felt inspired by our ability to create a space of curiosity and exploration.

I felt inspired by our ability to understand and appreciate each other along this journey called life.

Inspiration can be found in so many places. 

I’m curious, “What inspires you?”

The Art of the Start

“I don’t have the right equipment.” 

“There are thousands of others who are doing what I want to do.”

“Who am I to ask others questions? I’m not an expert.”

For years, these thoughts roamed through my head, preventing me from starting something I wanted to do.

A podcast where I could create a space for others to be seen, heard and valued. 

Before you read any further, please acknowledge and internalize the following, “It doesn’t have to be perfect.”

Self-limiting belief #1: “I don’t have the right equipment.”

The first few episodes, I recorded using a MacBook ProBlue Yeti, and a picture from our first fundraising event, which I hung in the background of my closest to give it a more professional feel.

“Closet?”

“Yup, I recorded the episodes from my apartment closet.”

It was the only room I could control the sound quality.

I had to move all of my clothes to a side where they weren't being seen in the background and run the AC an hour before, otherwise it became unbearably hot (Texas heat). 

On days when I forgot to turn on the AC in advance, I recorded the episode via audio only. I didn’t want the guest to see me sweating profusely.

Self-limiting belief #2: “Who am I to be hosting a podcast and asking questions to others? I’m not an expert.”

I believed these thoughts for a long time prior to starting the podcast.

I still wonder at times, how many projects I could have started and finished if I understood what I know now, “Who says that I have to be an ‘expert’ to start? "No one is an expert when they start."

I re-framed it in my mind, and gave myself permission to ask questions that I wanted to know the answers to.

Self-limiting belief #3: “There are thousands of others who are doing what I want to do.”

So, what?

“Why can’t I be the millionth?” I asked myself.

It may be true that there are thousands of others doing similar things.

However, no two conversations are the same, questions may be heard differently depending on who is asking, answers will be different depending on how the question is asked and who is asking it.

I’m curious to hear from you, “What do you want to start now that your thoughts may have held you back from previously?”

If you don’t know how to start something ask for help. Reach out to people who know more about whatever it is, be curious, research, surround yourself with others who have experience in doing the same thing and learn from them.

I’m here for you and happy to share what I know. Your network is here for you. We’re all here cheering you on!!!

Oleg Lougheed is the host of the Overcoming Odds Podcast, where you get a glimpse into the stories of individuals who have overcome adversity, suffering, and struggle in achieving their personal success.

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How do you choose to see yourself?

“How do I choose to see myself?” I thought as I was getting ready to embark on the next chapter of my life, college.

Was I going to continue to see myself as my classmates and teachers saw me? 

It was difficult to leave the place I was raised in since I was 12 years old; the smell of my mom’s freshly-made, perfectly-cooked blueberry pancakes; the cloudy afternoons when I helped my Dad shovel the snow off the driveway; the hours I played with our dogs, Derby and Rocky, rolling around on the floor of the family room, becoming a vacuum as I picked up all of the dirt around me.

As difficult as it was to leave, I knew that I had to go.

I’ll always remember that car ride, sitting in the middle section of my mom’s minivan, tears streaming down my face, envisioning what this next chapter of my life could be, an opportunity to redefine how I chose to see myself.

In the prior years, middle school and high school, I was viewed as a “trouble maker” and sometimes a “bully”. 

I would talk back to teachers, I made fun of classmates, I was disruptive. This was the expectation of my peers and so I became what they expected me to be. 

I spent more time in the principal’s office than anyone ever wanted to.

For the longest time, I wanted to forget all of those experiences. 

I wanted to forget about all of the pain I may have caused others. 

But, instead, I chose not to forget the pain I may have caused. I chose to look at those experiences head-on and all the lessons that I could learn from them. 

One of the greatest lessons I learned was that I do not have to be what people perceive me to be. I can choose who I want to be. 

Going to college helped me break that cycle, it instilled enough excitement and hope within me that my life could be different.

I didn’t know HOW, I just believed that it was POSSIBLE.

I look back at that time in my life to remind myself that all is POSSIBLE. It is POSSIBLE to view myself in a different light despite the circumstances I was born into; it is POSSIBLE to leave my tribe behind and join a new tribe; it is POSSIBLE to dig deep enough to rid myself of negative behavior. It is POSSIBLE to learn from past experiences; it is POSSIBLE to love myself wholeheartedly.

It is POSSIBLE!

If you enjoyed this, please share your thoughts by commenting below or joining us on one of our weekly, “Courageous Conversations” virtual meetup gatherings.

Out of Your Greatest Pain Can Come Your Greatest Gift

“Out of your greatest pain can come your greatest gift.”

I realized this while sitting on my bed, with the bedroom light dimmed, talking on the phone to a close friend, reflecting back on my past.

She said to me, “I know you had a very challenging childhood…that you were an orphan … that you lived in poverty … that you had no parental figures … but, what was your greatest pain?”

“I …”

A moment of silence followed, as I didn’t know how to respond.

I’ve never been asked this question before.

I started to think about all of the painful moments in my life.

The times I tried as a young boy to bring my birth family back together, all under one roof. The time I searched the streets of Chebarkul, looking for my birth Mom, wanting to just hug her and not let go…the time I was starving and had to find a way to eat…so many painful times.

The thoughts ran through and through my mind, racing, one after another.

Then, a specific memory came to mind.

I continued sharing with my friend the time I spent in a three-bedroom apartment in Newark, DE, alone, in a room, sitting on the floor, with tears streaming down my face. I recall repeatedly asking myself, “Why me? Why was I meant to go through all of this? Why should I have to endure all of this? Why did I have to lose such an important person to me… my birth Mom?”

As I began to think about it more and more, I could feel a heavy weight being lifted.

Not a day goes by without me thinking about my birth Mom.

I wish I could see her; hug her; kiss her … just one more time.

Even now, tears fall from my eyes onto the computer keys, as I think about her.

But, I also understand that I have a choice in how I view my past.

I understand that each of the experiences I’ve had on this planet can be gifts if I choose to look at them through a different lens.

In fact, this is exactly how I have been able to find my greatest gift, realizing that my past experiences have given me the gift to reach people in a special way, helping them to see their past as a gift too. I have created a community where people can share their stories, feel connected and understand that they belong. In this community people realize that their story matters.

What is your greatest pain? Have you been able to change the lens through which you see it?

You too can turn your pain into your special gift!

If you enjoyed this, please share your thoughts by commenting below.


Oleg Lougheed is the host of the Overcoming Odds Podcast, where you get a glimpse into the stories of individuals who have overcome adversity, suffering, and struggle in achieving their personal success.