The Art of the Start
“I don’t have the right equipment.”
“There are thousands of others who are doing what I want to do.”
“Who am I to ask others questions? I’m not an expert.”
For years, these thoughts roamed through my head, preventing me from starting something I wanted to do.
A podcast where I could create a space for others to be seen, heard and valued.
Before you read any further, please acknowledge and internalize the following, “It doesn’t have to be perfect.”
Self-limiting belief #1: “I don’t have the right equipment.”
The first few episodes, I recorded using a MacBook Pro, Blue Yeti, and a picture from our first fundraising event, which I hung in the background of my closest to give it a more professional feel.
“Closet?”
“Yup, I recorded the episodes from my apartment closet.”
It was the only room I could control the sound quality.
I had to move all of my clothes to a side where they weren't being seen in the background and run the AC an hour before, otherwise it became unbearably hot (Texas heat).
On days when I forgot to turn on the AC in advance, I recorded the episode via audio only. I didn’t want the guest to see me sweating profusely.
Self-limiting belief #2: “Who am I to be hosting a podcast and asking questions to others? I’m not an expert.”
I believed these thoughts for a long time prior to starting the podcast.
I still wonder at times, how many projects I could have started and finished if I understood what I know now, “Who says that I have to be an ‘expert’ to start? "No one is an expert when they start."
I re-framed it in my mind, and gave myself permission to ask questions that I wanted to know the answers to.
Self-limiting belief #3: “There are thousands of others who are doing what I want to do.”
So, what?
“Why can’t I be the millionth?” I asked myself.
It may be true that there are thousands of others doing similar things.
However, no two conversations are the same, questions may be heard differently depending on who is asking, answers will be different depending on how the question is asked and who is asking it.
I’m curious to hear from you, “What do you want to start now that your thoughts may have held you back from previously?”
If you don’t know how to start something ask for help. Reach out to people who know more about whatever it is, be curious, research, surround yourself with others who have experience in doing the same thing and learn from them.
I’m here for you and happy to share what I know. Your network is here for you. We’re all here cheering you on!!!
Oleg Lougheed is the host of the Overcoming Odds Podcast, where you get a glimpse into the stories of individuals who have overcome adversity, suffering, and struggle in achieving their personal success.
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“Nothing is more permanent than you make it.”
“Nothing is more permanent than you make it.”
As I thought about this during one of the Courageous Conversation meetups, I immediately thought of my relationship with “time.”
The thought of, “that lasted a long time,” from a younger version of me creeped into my mind.
I was in middle school, rushing back home, hoping to get there before my parents did.
[Spoiler alert, this happened multiple times]
All I could think about was, “I hope it’s there.”
Multiple times a year report cards were mailed directly to our homes, my friends at school talked about the day report cards would come in the mail and the trouble that was waiting for them once they got home.
I was scared even though my parents NEVER raised their hand on me.
I was scared because I didn’t want to disappoint them.
Reports cards, pieces of paper that showed our performance at school.
Grades, number of absences, comments about our behavior.
“Comments”, the only section that concerned me, every time.
“Talkative,” or “disruptive” filled some of those boxes on my report card.
As I rushed home, to get the letter out of the mailbox addressed to, “Parents of Oleg Michael Lougheed,” I felt relieved, until I walked into the house.
My mom sat in the armchair in the family room.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hi son!”
I made my way upstairs, to hide the report card, in my treasure chest, full of all of the other ones.
“Oleg, we need to talk,” my mom said.
“Busted,” all I could think of.
As I sat down, in front of her, I noticed she was holding a crumpled up report card, one I hid in the treasure chest.
“What’s going on? Why are you hiding these from us?” she asked.
One question after another.
Concluding with the final lesson: do NOT open mail that’s addressed to someone else.
The conversation took minutes, but felt like years.
Maybe it did take years because I held onto those awful embarrassing feelings and carried them with me for years, in my head.
Once again, “Nothing is more permanent than you make it.”
It wasn’t until recently that I came to this realization.
I had been holding onto these feelings about the report card for least 10 years from the time the event took place.
You might be wondering, “Why did it take so long to come to terms with this? Why didn’t you move on faster?”
Trust me, I’ve asked myself those questions over and over again and here’s what I have learned. I only know what I know at any given time. If I knew better, I would have done better.
To me, it doesn’t matter how long it takes me reach a certain perspective, what’s more important is that eventually I get there.
I have a choice in how long a perceived experience lives with me or the story I created about it.
I have a choice in the type of experience I want to have with that event.
The time of report cards was not any different.
I chose to look at the report card situation and learn from it.
“What can I learn from that time of my life? How can I apply those lessons moving forward?”
Oleg Lougheed is the host of the Overcoming Odds Podcast, where you get a glimpse into the stories of individuals who have overcome adversity, suffering, and struggle in achieving their personal success.
How do you choose to see yourself?
“How do I choose to see myself?” I thought as I was getting ready to embark on the next chapter of my life, college.
Was I going to continue to see myself as my classmates and teachers saw me?
It was difficult to leave the place I was raised in since I was 12 years old; the smell of my mom’s freshly-made, perfectly-cooked blueberry pancakes; the cloudy afternoons when I helped my Dad shovel the snow off the driveway; the hours I played with our dogs, Derby and Rocky, rolling around on the floor of the family room, becoming a vacuum as I picked up all of the dirt around me.
As difficult as it was to leave, I knew that I had to go.
I’ll always remember that car ride, sitting in the middle section of my mom’s minivan, tears streaming down my face, envisioning what this next chapter of my life could be, an opportunity to redefine how I chose to see myself.
In the prior years, middle school and high school, I was viewed as a “trouble maker” and sometimes a “bully”.
I would talk back to teachers, I made fun of classmates, I was disruptive. This was the expectation of my peers and so I became what they expected me to be.
I spent more time in the principal’s office than anyone ever wanted to.
For the longest time, I wanted to forget all of those experiences.
I wanted to forget about all of the pain I may have caused others.
But, instead, I chose not to forget the pain I may have caused. I chose to look at those experiences head-on and all the lessons that I could learn from them.
One of the greatest lessons I learned was that I do not have to be what people perceive me to be. I can choose who I want to be.
Going to college helped me break that cycle, it instilled enough excitement and hope within me that my life could be different.
I didn’t know HOW, I just believed that it was POSSIBLE.
I look back at that time in my life to remind myself that all is POSSIBLE. It is POSSIBLE to view myself in a different light despite the circumstances I was born into; it is POSSIBLE to leave my tribe behind and join a new tribe; it is POSSIBLE to dig deep enough to rid myself of negative behavior. It is POSSIBLE to learn from past experiences; it is POSSIBLE to love myself wholeheartedly.
It is POSSIBLE!
If you enjoyed this, please share your thoughts by commenting below or joining us on one of our weekly, “Courageous Conversations” virtual meetup gatherings.