Do you like to travel alone?

“Do you like to travel alone?”

The other day, my friend asked me such question.

I replied, “It depends on the set of circumstances.”

I’ve struck conversations with people I may or may not have if I was traveling with somebody else.

I’ve had lunch at restaurants, by myself, to live out of my comfort zone.

I’ve taken public transport for hours, without a single person who spoke English.

All of these experiences along with thousands of others made traveling alone enjoyable.

I’ve also faced many challenges while traveling alone.

Some of them I may or may not have faced while traveling with others.

I’ve been denied entry to places due to my COVID card being seen as illegitimate.

I don’t blame the person.

After all, the two handwritten initials next to the name of the vaccine could have been written by anyone including my dog if he had an opposable thumb 😂

My sense of safety and comfort have been shattered.

While traveling with friends, at least I could turn to one of them when things weren’t going according to the plan.

While traveling alone, the only one I could turn to is, “Me, Myself, and I.”

This experience in particular made me even more appreciative of the comfort and stability that comes with simply having a home or someone to turn to.

Do I like to travel alone?

It depends on the set of circumstances.

👉 Do you like to travel alone?

Learn to laugh at things that otherwise would make you angry

“Learn to laugh at things that otherwise would make you angry.”

This morning, as I was taking Kaleb for a walk, I noticed myself get angry as Kaleb kept on pulling toward a crowd of ducks across the street (a story fellow dog owners are far too familiar with 😂)

“Kaleb, stop pulling,” I repeated one time after another.

But, he refused to listen.

Or maybe he wasn’t listening to begin with 🤔 

With each pull, I would pull him back.

And the famous battle of, “Oleg vs Kaleb” officially began.

September 20th, 2021 (no casualties were reported for those who are left wondering 😂)

Back and forth we exchanged pulls until I noticed myself suddenly begin to laugh at the situation.

I started laughing because of what I was trying to do. 

I was trying to control his existence.

Due to my laughter, I immediately found myself in a place I enjoy the most.

Curiosity.

I got curious about his experience.

“What is he thinking? Does he want to say, ‘Hi!’ Does he want to eat one of the ducks? 👿”

In that moment, I noticed my initial anger transform into a sense of peace.

Do you ever find yourself laughing at things that otherwise make you angry? (Share one of the moments in the comments)

The best gift you can give someone is your time and energy

“The best gift you can give someone is your time and energy.”

It wasn’t until a few years ago when I realized the importance of this lesson.

In fact, I remember exactly where this realization took place.

I was laying down on the floor of my Austin apartment, face pointed directly toward the ceiling, pondering, “What makes gift giving so special?”

Slowly, I noticed my mind wonder down the memory lane of childhood memories.

The times when I would lose sleep leading up to Christmas Eve in anticipation of what I would get the following morning.

Or the countless birthday parties, where friends from all walks of life would gather at my parents place, Laser Tag or some other attraction, followed by a session of opening gifts.

I cherish all of these memories, as they brought tremendous joy to my life.

In fact, before I proceed, I’d like to point out that there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving physical gifts.

Rather, the point of all of this is simply me sharing an observation of how gift giving evolved over the years.

As I continued to think of other memories where gift giving played a major role, I noticed how in the recent years the ultimate gift I was able to receive was not a physical possession, but shared time and energy with other people.

“Why?” I asked myself.

Shared time and energy had been the ultimate gift because it has given me an opportunity to take a glimpse into the gift-givers life.

A brief window into how they view the world and how I could expand my own view.

It has given me an opportunity to hear as well as share stories, which is something I believe in strongly.

I believe everyone has a story that I have never heard before and everyone knows something that I don’t … both are worth knowing.

Perhaps, this is the reason why I am so drawn to #conversations, whether it is through a form of #podcasting or random encounters at coffee shops.

To me, these kind of experiences are simply gifts that keep on giving.

As you think about your own experience, what is the best gift you’ve ever received? What is the best gift you’ve ever given someone?

What about you, continues on after you’re gone?

“What about you, continues on after you’re gone?”

Yesterday, I was having a conversation with a friend’s Mom when this question came up.

I sat on one side of the room, as she sat at the other.

I asked, “What is it like to live without both of your parents? What do you choose to remember about them?”

She continued by sharing one memory after another.

She shared stories of what her parents were like during her childhood, as well as in the later chapters of her life.

Meanwhile, I sat there, in silence, thinking about my own experience.

“What about me would carry on after I am gone?”

What daily actions do I choose in my life in order to influence people around me?

Which of those actions will people choose to remember about me after I am gone?

The simple answer is: It’s complicated 😂

It would be fascinating to travel back from the dead and see the impact I had on others and what they remember about me.

The longer I thought about the initial question, the more I started to think of a series of questions within the question.

Why is it important for things to carry on after I am gone?

Why is it important to be remembered?

Why am I striving for a sense of legacy?

What about the current moment is simply not enough?

As you think about your own experience, “What about you would you like to have carried on after you’re gone? Why?”

How would you ever know what life was capable of if you were always in control of it?

How would you ever know what life was capable of if you were always in control of it?

Where does the desire to control one’s experience come from?

These were the questions I was left with, as I concluded my morning walk.

As I walked into my apartment, I couldn’t help, but stop and think about my own relationship with wanting to control the outcome of any experience.

“Why do I want to control my experience? What is the motivation behind this desire?” 

As some of you may know, I will be leaving for a year-long trip around the world in the upcoming months (I’ll be posting the itinerary before I leave, so we can connect in-person).

Part of this experience includes finding a tenant to reside in my apartment for the remainder of the lease.

So, over the past few weeks, I’ve been posting ads relentlessly, one after another, advertising the place (enough ads that even Facebook Marketplace had to intervene by temporarily blocking my ability to post and say, “Hold up! No need to post 50 ads per day. You’ve done enough. Let the experience unfold!”)

This experience, as well as listening to the “Surrender Experiment” helped me slow down and realize what I was doing.

I was trying to control the outcome of the experience.

Before I proceed, I believe it is important to note the following: the concept of “control” has a purpose.

In my case, controlling how much energy I put toward any given objective is important.

I don’t believe things just happen without any set intention or energy exchange (or maybe they do … How do I know? What about the sequence of events do I think I control?)

Over the past few days, I challenged myself to let things unfold on their own.

And the beauty of this experience began to emerge. 

This morning, I found myself responding to numerous messages from possible tenants.

Some wanted to lease immediately.

The point of my message is not to discourage you from taking action in life.

Rather, let the outcome come, and at a time that it’s supposed to happen (take my words with a grain of salt, as I am simply learning from this experience just like you are).

“Is he friendly?”

“Is he friendly?”

This morning, as Kaleb and I were going on our morning stroll, I thought of this question that I’m asked often when approaching other dogs.

As I was reflecting upon it, I couldn’t help but acknowledge the difficulty of this question. 

Although, in most situations when asked, I can confidently respond with, “Yes, he is” based on yesterday’s experiences.

The reality of the matter is I don’t know for certain how he’ll react today. On top of which, I don’t know how I’ll react if the fight breaks out...LOL.

What if he woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

Considering that happens to me, I’m assuming it has got to happen to him as well.

What if the other dog’s frequency doesn’t align with his ?

It’s not like I can pull out one of my on the go Dr. Seuss books and teach him the importance of making friends.

Plus, I’ve tried reading to him out loud before, but he doesn't seem to respond to any words other than “walk” or “food”  

“What contributes toward Kaleb being friendly with others?” I asked myself.

The first thing that came to mind was exposure.

Exposure to all dogs, the friendly and the not so friendly.

In fact, there are numerous times before meeting another dog, when I don’t try to differentiate.

I challenge my own assumptions of how I think the meeting is going to go.

Rather, I create the opportunity for them to meet anyway. 

What better way to help another become aware of something than to help them recognize the behavior in the moment?

How do you create learning opportunities for others?

I challenge you, next time you’re taking your pet for a walk and you see another pet across the street walking toward you, ask yourself, “What can I learn about my pet from this encounter? What can I learn about myself from their interaction?”

As you think about the concept of “being friendly”, what do you think contributes to it?

How do you respond to your circumstances?

“Some obstacles are avoidable, others aren’t”.

This morning, as Kaleb and I were going on our stroll around the city, I kept running into spider webs hanging from the trees.

This scene happens often, especially after a rainstorm.

Well, this morning was no exception.

As Kaleb was walking ahead of me, enjoying the different smells, finding areas to conquer, I was busy trying to avoid the spider webs hanging from the top of the trees. Each web had a worm hanging from it, which made it easier to locate.

However, even with identifying markers such as worms or loose leaves hanging from the webs, some were still difficult to locate.

Not all were hanging directly down without any movement.

Depending on where we were, wind played a factor.

As we were walking near the highway, the wind from passing cars would swing the webs back and forth, making it very difficult to avoid.

Reminded me of a scene from “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story,” where the coach explains from his wheelchair the five D's of dodgeball: “Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge.”

Well, I was doing exactly that, with the exception of diving across the sidewalks 😂

As I got closer to home and was able to walk on the road, away from the trees with spider webs, I began to think about the concept of obstacles and how some truly were unavoidable.

No matter how much I wanted to control my walking experience with Kaleb, I still kept running into spider webs.

“What could I control then?” I asked myself internally.

“How I respond to the circumstances.”

I could have easily due to the discomfort of being covered in spider webs and worms crawling all over my shirt, let the circumstances impact my attitude for the rest of the day.

Instead, I chose to look at it all as a learning experience.

An opportunity to recognize that I have a choice in how I proceed with the rest of the day despite the early form of adversity.

How do you respond to your circumstances?

How resilient are you?

“How resilient are you?”

Yesterday, as Casey Berman, Scott Mason and I were having a series of discussions during, “Survive to Thrive: Attitude of Gratitude,” this question came to mind.

As I sat there at my kitchen table, eyes glued to the computer screen, closely listening to Casey and Scott share their perspectives, feeling as if I’m in the same room as all of them, yet being thousands of miles apart, I couldn’t help but think about my own experience.

“How resilient am I?”

I immediately thought of the time when I was hiking the Grand Canyon.

The hike that lasted a total of 6 hours, yet felt like a lifetime due to the difficulty of it.

On my way up to the top from the Plateau Point, there were points throughout the hike when my body wanted to give up.

I don’t blame it considering that I was hiking 3 miles horizontally and 1 mile vertically, as the conclusion to the 12 mile day 😂

If you haven’t hiked the Grand Canyon, think of it as walking on a treadmill, on the highest possible incline for 3 hours.

As I continued to go up the trail, stopping here and there, resting on fallen rocks along the side, enjoying the last drops of water or the last clementine, I kept repeating one message, “One more step ... mind over body.”

I’d pick a point ahead of me, typically a turn, beyond which I couldn’t see the trail, and repeat, “one more step ... mind over body.”

Could I have given up?

Absolutely.

Did my body want to give up due to what was the most intense hike I’ve ever put it through?

💯

The difference was, I kept going.

I kept believing in the fact that by continuing to take that one more step, I’d eventually get to where it is that I’m going.

This hike helped me reaffirm how resilient I truly am.

As you think about your life, I’m curious to hear from you, “How resilient are you?”