Do you know when you need to face a fear or avoid it?
Fight or flight.
This is the core of the sympathetic nervous system.
It is so ingrained in human physiology and psychology that it can be traced to ancient humans.
If a saber tooth tiger was stalking an early man, they had to know how to use their fear to either sprint as fast as they could or overcome the threat with the tools they had at their disposal.
Most humans now do not have the same stresses that our ancestors had.
However, the same response to threats and fears is still very much a part of our being.
The challenge is that this response activates when threats are equally as minor or major.
It takes the wisdom and intellect of an individual to understand what is happening in their body when a perceived threat is presented.
The question then becomes, do you know when you need to face a fear or avoid it? The dilemma: Run away from fear or run to it?
Join Nancy John, Casey Berman and Oleg Lougheed as they express how to successfully navigate #fear and #uncertainty.
How do you challenge your own shortcomings?
“Are you safe?”
Ever since I landed in Ghana, this has been one of the most frequently asked questions from friends in the US.
Every time this question is asked, I can’t help but wonder, “What about Africa does the other person not find safe?”
Is it that I may be the only Caucasian within many, many miles?
Is it the fear of catching an unknown disease?
Is it because the poverty is much higher than a lot of other countries?
But even if the poverty level is higher, does that necessarily mean it’s unsafe?
Or is it something completely different?
This question was asked when I went to other European countries.
But, not in the same order.
It was asked well into the conversation.
Sometimes, not asked at all.
Once I got to Africa, this question has been asked at the beginning of most conversations.
I asked myself the same question, “What about Africa did I perceive as unsafe prior to arriving in Ghana?” and I discovered something.
I realized the perception I carried with me about people of color for many years.
Ever since I was a kid, I remember watching movies where those of color would be perceived as criminals and drug dealers.
This impacted my view greatly.
During my teenage years, there were times when I would cross the street once I saw a person of color sharing the same sidewalk.
There have been times when I’ve been scared to walk down dark alleyways, yet I wasn’t scared to do so if it was another white person there.
I am not here to blame anyone or anything.
I am simply acknowledging my shortcomings.
I have had to rewrite many of the stories I have written about people of color.
Even where I am today, I know I still have much work to do.
What is your perception of different races? What are the narratives you’ve created about those who are different from you?
What are the things you’re searching for?
“Our search is not for the thing, but the feeling that thing gives us.”
The other day, I caught up with an old friend of mine.
It has been years since we last saw each other, yet it felt as if no time had passed.
We shared one story after another.
The places we’ve been to.
The jobs we’ve had.
The people we’ve met.
Halfway through our conversation, he said something that still hasn’t escaped my mind.
“Our search is not for the thing, but the feeling that thing gives us.”
I looked at the burger in front of me.
Then, the iPhone.
Then, my clothes.
I thought, “He couldn’t be more right.”
I wasn’t searching for these items individually, rather the feeling those things could give me.
The feeling of not being hungry.
The feeling of being connected.
The feeling of being warm.
What are the things you’re searching for? What do you hope to feel when you find those things?
How are you making others feel valued and seen?
“Good morning, Boss!”
The other day, a friend of mine had said these words as he was talking to the Uber driver.
It wasn’t the first time I heard these words after my arrival to Ghana.
However, it was the first time these words peaked my interest.
I asked, “Why do people call others ‘boss’, especially when the person is not their boss?”
He responded, “It is meant to make others feel important or valued …”
Regardless of the role, whether it was the person checking our entry tickets at the Asenema Waterfalls, countless of Uber drivers or someone who is making your food, people call others “Boss, King, Director … the list goes on.”
All titles having one common denominator: to make others feel valued and seen.
How are you making others feel valued and seen?
What inspires you?
I asked, “What inspires you?”
I heard nothing, but silence.
Then, one after another people began to share their perspectives.
With each shared perspective, I noticed myself becoming more and more in-tune with what was being said.
I noticed myself quietly listening and completely understanding.
“Stillness inspires me ... connecting with others inspires me ... knowing that I’m not alone inspires me ...”
I couldn’t help, but smile with each shared perspective.
I felt a sense of joy.
I felt inspired by these people.
I felt inspired by our ability, as a collective, to breathe life into each other.
I felt inspired by our ability to create a space of curiosity and exploration.
I felt inspired by our ability to understand and appreciate each other along this journey called life.
Inspiration can be found in so many places.
I’m curious, “What inspires you?”
"Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover"
A couple days ago, I picked up a book that my father gifted me with a few years ago, “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It.”
As I read through the first chapter, I began to lose focus of the message being conveyed.
“Much of what he is saying I had already heard,” I thought to myself.
I began to question whether or not I should continue reading through the remaining chapters.
In that moment of questioning, I realized something that I hadn't before.
Prior to picking up the book and brushing the dust off the front cover, I made assumptions about what I needed to learn from it.
All based on the title and the brief summary I read online of what’s in the pages.
What this moment made me realize was the importance of not creating assumptions before picking up any book or interacting with a source of knowledge, rather allowing my mind to expand by asking myself the question of, “What can I learn today?”
I can only imagine the number of books I’ve passed up on from the first glance, thinking that I already knew the treasure hidden within the beautiful body of work.
In reality, what I’ve learned over time is that you really can't judge a book by it's cover!
I’m curious, “How do you change your mindset to pick up that book even if you don't like the title, the cover, or the first page?”
Oleg Lougheed is the host of the Overcoming Odds Podcast, where you get a glimpse into the stories of individuals who have overcome adversity, suffering, and struggle in achieving their personal success.
The Art of the Start
“I don’t have the right equipment.”
“There are thousands of others who are doing what I want to do.”
“Who am I to ask others questions? I’m not an expert.”
For years, these thoughts roamed through my head, preventing me from starting something I wanted to do.
A podcast where I could create a space for others to be seen, heard and valued.
Before you read any further, please acknowledge and internalize the following, “It doesn’t have to be perfect.”
Self-limiting belief #1: “I don’t have the right equipment.”
The first few episodes, I recorded using a MacBook Pro, Blue Yeti, and a picture from our first fundraising event, which I hung in the background of my closest to give it a more professional feel.
“Closet?”
“Yup, I recorded the episodes from my apartment closet.”
It was the only room I could control the sound quality.
I had to move all of my clothes to a side where they weren't being seen in the background and run the AC an hour before, otherwise it became unbearably hot (Texas heat).
On days when I forgot to turn on the AC in advance, I recorded the episode via audio only. I didn’t want the guest to see me sweating profusely.
Self-limiting belief #2: “Who am I to be hosting a podcast and asking questions to others? I’m not an expert.”
I believed these thoughts for a long time prior to starting the podcast.
I still wonder at times, how many projects I could have started and finished if I understood what I know now, “Who says that I have to be an ‘expert’ to start? "No one is an expert when they start."
I re-framed it in my mind, and gave myself permission to ask questions that I wanted to know the answers to.
Self-limiting belief #3: “There are thousands of others who are doing what I want to do.”
So, what?
“Why can’t I be the millionth?” I asked myself.
It may be true that there are thousands of others doing similar things.
However, no two conversations are the same, questions may be heard differently depending on who is asking, answers will be different depending on how the question is asked and who is asking it.
I’m curious to hear from you, “What do you want to start now that your thoughts may have held you back from previously?”
If you don’t know how to start something ask for help. Reach out to people who know more about whatever it is, be curious, research, surround yourself with others who have experience in doing the same thing and learn from them.
I’m here for you and happy to share what I know. Your network is here for you. We’re all here cheering you on!!!
Oleg Lougheed is the host of the Overcoming Odds Podcast, where you get a glimpse into the stories of individuals who have overcome adversity, suffering, and struggle in achieving their personal success.
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