“I was so focused on asking great questions that I missed all of the answers ...”
This morning, as I was having a conversation with a friend of mine this topic was brought up.
As she shared her own journey of interviewing others, I began to think about my own.
I started to think about my journey as a podcaster, especially the first 50 or so episodes where I relied heavily on structured, sample questions to facilitate the conversations.
To date, I still remember the challenges of that particular approach.
I’d be sitting there, halfway across the room or across the world via Zoom, trying to listen to the other person, while thinking of when to ask the next question.
My anxiety was through the roof, as I’d glance back to the printer sheet of questions that I had taken off my printer prior to the interview.
It was a challenge to genuinely listen to what the other person was saying.
My mind was too occupied with what to ask next.
Not to mention, depending on how the interview was happening, in person or via Zoom, video or no video, or the communication style of the person I am having a conversation with, it added even more challenges.
It wasn’t until many more episodes later that I was able to abandon the script and ask questions as they came.
The process became a lot easier, yet there was still tension I was experiencing.
The tension came due to the fact that I was asking questions one way during podcasts, but still using scripts in other areas of life.
This is when I had to abandon the script across the board ... in introductory conversations with other people ... how I viewed life ...
It was much more than simply switching a switch to a new way of doing things.
It was an everyday practice that I had to develop.
I remember in situations where I thought certain things had to be in a particular way, I began to ask myself, “Why does it have to be this one way? Why can’t it be any other way? Who says it has to be this way?”
Today, as I reflect on my journey, I had to have the experiences that I did in order to be where I am.
I had to ask scripted questions in order to understand my own style as well as what can be done differently.
As you’re starting your journey in whatever area it may be, I invite you to look at your whole Picasso painting in pieces.
Don’t try to complete the whole picture all at once.
Pick one piece and develop greater confidence with it or as some might say, “mastery”.
If it’s learning how to be a better listener, practice asking questions as they come.
Do it until it becomes a natural process.
Then, go on to the next phase of learning. It is all a process.
